Nothing Screams "Winning" Like Shooting Yourself In Both Feet And Calling It A Victory Dance

Ah, Donald Trump's economic nationalism—because nothing says "stable genius" quite like igniting a global trade war. In his latest act of economic brilliance, President Trump has imposed a 25% tariff on goods from Canada and Mexico, and a 10% tariff on imports from China. Not content with alienating North America and Asia, he also announced a 25% tariff on European Union imports, accusing the EU of being "formed to screw the United States"

These moves have sent shockwaves through global markets, with European stocks taking a nosedive. But you don't need allies or a stable economy when you can have populist tariffs and throw a bone to the MAGA hats, right? In the United States the uncertainty from these tariffs is causing businesses to clutch their wallets tighter than a billionaire at a charity gala.

Oxford Economics estimates a potential 4% drop in business investment, which could balloon to 14% if this uncertainty drags on. US Consumers aren't faring much better. The University of Michigan's Index of Consumer Sentiment has plummeted to a three-year low, as Americans grapple with rising prices and an unpredictable job market.

It's almost as if people don't enjoy paying more for everyday goods while wondering if their jobs will be the next casualty in this Trump tariff tantrum.

Even the auto industry is bracing for impact. Executives from Europe, Japan, and South Korea are on edge, fearing that their cars might be the next targets in Trump's tariff tirade. Because when you're trying to sell cars, one thing that really revs up sales is the threat of hefty import taxes.

Trump's economic nationalism seems less about making America great again and more about making everything more expensive. But hey, who needs affordable goods, stable markets, or international allies when you can have tariffs and dumb followers in stupid red hats? After all, nothing screams "winning" like shooting yourself in both feet and calling it a victory dance.