'Hamas Ate My Guinea Pig': And Similar Israeli Fairy Tales

Israel’s use of propaganda throughout its brutal war took another far-fetched, if chilling turn with the emergence of an alleged Israeli ‘dossier’ which has cost vital relief United Nations agency UNRWA many millions in funding.

Appearing as Israel appears to go to war against the United Nations following South Africa’s accusation of genocide in the UN’s highest court, the document, which no organisation except Reuters even claims to have seen, supposedly includes specific information on UNRWA employees, their movements, motives, phone calls and private lives, and the ‘proven’ involvement in the October 7 attacks of 12 such employees. The ‘dossier’ is, apparently, a full 6 pages long...

(Despite such a fulsome, detailed expose, the figure halved from 12 employees involved to just 6 accused a mere three days later – or is it 4?; Israel’s ‘facts’ seem…well…changeable…)

It has been noticeable that little has been heard of the dossier since the backtracking on the actual numbers contained within it - although Israel's palpable hatred for UNRWA remains undiminished; some 122 United Nations staff have been killed by Israel since the beginning of the current attack on Gaza.

(The number of UN dead may be higher by now, given the current attack on central and southern Gaza)

Said ‘thorough dossier’ estimated ‘up to’ 10% of UNRWA staff in Gaza were connected to or were members of Hamas – the agency has 13,000 employees working across Palestine, most in Gaza – and as many if not most were born there, the idea that they would not have any knowledge of the group, which legally governs Gaza, is frankly laughable.

They grew up alongside people who now work - or did work, given that the majority of their workplaces have been levelled by Israeli bombing - in the Hamas-led government, and as UN staff, deal with the Hamas ministries on a daily basis; they shared the same upbringing, most in refugee camps. They live next door.

The ‘Hamas-related’ stories that have been fed into the media since the start of Israel’s current attack on Gaza have been by turns comic, bizarre, predictable and, lately, downright convenient.

It began very early on in the Gaza war with the ’40 beheaded babies’ tale – which was endorsed by the White House, although completely unproven and although the Biden administration did row back on their initial statement, it was by then far too late – there’s a lot of truth in the old saying ‘a lie can run round the world while the truth is still getting its boots on‘.

Many fake videos were also circulated on social media platform X – one by far-right ‘commentator’ and pal of Elon Musk, Ian Miles Cheong, which claimed to show Palestinian fighters killing Israeli citizens. An ‘X’ Community Note pointed out, rightly, that the people in the clip were members of Israeli law enforcement, not Hamas.

But the video racked up millions of views – for the gullible, it became true.

Then of course there was ‘elderly Jenya’ allegedly killed in Kibbutz Be’eri, supposedly having been through Auschwitz and having a tattooed number on her arm - who later turned out not to exist.

Similarly, despite the tearful say-so of an IDF spokesman, commander of the Kfir Brigade no less, there were no ‘eight beheaded babies’ in said kibbutz, as an Israeli journalist later confirmed on Israel’s Channel 13:

“Well, no eight babies were killed in Be'eri, according to the Kibbutz spokesperson there's no woman named Jenya in Be'eri”. Elderly or otherwise.

Unlucky for some – certainly unlucky for the IDF – which begs the question; there were murders on October 7, that is not in doubt, so why make up stories?

Why indeed, the journalist asked Israeli politician Mickey Rosenthal. His answer:

“I assume that in order to increase the magnitude of the hatred for Hamas, as if it’s necessary to say, as if what happened wasn’t enough”

Why were people inventing events?

“The answer is maybe that they heard it as a rumour, and maybe...but, and that’s the most important thing, the war is not only military and it’s not only political, it’s mainly media, and I’m not sure it’s not the most important part”

Well, they certainly went all out with the invention, though if as Rosenthal says ‘it’s the most important part’ one can only think the deluge of fairy tales comes over less laughably to the Israeli public than it does to the wider world…

First, of course, there was the ‘Hamas Book of Hostage-taking’ brandished by hapless president Isaac Herzog (above); a small. Ladybird-style tome which no doubt slipped from some Arab invaders’ pocket on 7 October (no doubt Hamas both produce and carry such instruction manuals, lest they forget some important instruction like ‘make sure to take the hostages when you leave’) and been borne from the wreckage by an IDF soldier tasked with checking any books found lying around the kibbutzim.

At a similar time Herzog showed ‘an instruction booklet’ on making chemical weapons – my, but they need some instructions, these Hamas types – supposedly taken from the body of a Hamas fighter. Said document, handily with ‘Al Qaeda’ printed in English, turns out to be a newsletter or bulletin, when (simply, in 10 seconds) translated, and mentions nothing whatsoever about ‘cyanide dispersal’, chemical weapons or how to make and use them; indeed no instructions of any kind.

Having enjoyed getting his face on TV and no doubt feeling he looked good holding a book, Herzog’s next bid was a copy of ‘Mein Kampf’ – (below) in Arabic of course – which survived the carpet bombing to turn up in ‘a Hamas fighters’ home in Gaza, doubtless located in spectacularly un-blown-up condition by a similarly-tasked IDF bibliophile.

According to Herzog it was found “in a house that doubled up as a Hamas terror base.”

Sticking with the ‘Hitler theme’ – ‘but Nazis killed Jews in WW2 so no one can be nasty to us ever’ thrown up like clockwork whenever Israel is criticised – there was ‘the Hitler screensaver’!

Found ‘in a teenage girl’s bedroom in Gaza’ on a fully charged, miraculously undamaged iPad, in a city that hadn’t had electricity for weeks and been bombed 24/7, some brave IDF soldier turned up the find with no qualms about touching live electrics in a ‘booby-trapped’ city; the tale did go round the world while the truth was still looking for its boots in the rubble…

Now, of course, there are the fake newspapers dropped over central Gaza by Israel, laughably titled ‘Reality’ – which among other untruths make the ridiculous claim that  'increased human aid has been entering Gaza during wartime'

It's not only from official sources that these hilariously convenient tales spring – there was also the input of one Douglas Murray, apparently a writer of some kind, who as well as throwing what we can only assume he considers his ‘weight’ behind the Israeli cause, provided sentient human beings with amusement when he posted a picture of the Eiffel Tower with a mosque minaret atop it, claiming "An Israeli soldier just gave me this. He found it in Gaza, in a random house”. He was, needless to say, roundly mocked in replies to his ill-advised tweet.

Why do they get away with it? Well, it could just be that no one questions it – at least news and information website Axios, which claims it ''gets you smarter, faster with news & information that matters'' doesn’t verify things, it seems other members of the mainstream media take the same approach; "If Israel says so, we’ll just take it as fact".

Doubtless by the time this is published, the Israelis will have seen fit to furnish us with similarly unbelievable compuganda, fake news, hasbara – call it what you will – according to a 2018 report by the Computational Propaganda Research Project at Oxford University, they pay well for it…